Engaged for 5 days

To say that the last two weeks have been crazy would be an understatement. I have gone from broken up to Engaged and back to broken up. I feel like I am in a roller coaster of emotions and its driving me crazy.

Two weeks ago I broke up with my boyfriend. I felt we were drifting apart, I was tired of being treated badly and called it off. Two days later I convinced myself that I had made the biggest mistake of my life, considered the fact that he had lost his mum and convinced myself I was being a jerk. So I called him and made up. We talked about our problems and that was it.

Days later we were together again. Ours is a long distance relationship so I rely alot on phones and chat. A week later we are happily chatting and he asked the one question that I have been longing to hear. What would you say if I proposed.. ? So I asked are you proposing and he is like yes, something like that. I couldnt believe it, the answer came out immediately - yes I would marry you. In that moment I experienced pure joy. I have never been happier than I was in the next 2 days. I couldnt hide it even my collegues noticed. Soon I was on the phone telling all my friends about my engagement. Everyone I told was soo happy.

Until today. Opened my facebook I see that He has added a new friend so decide to check out who this new gal is. It guess coz I never look at mens phones but something made me open his profile on facebook. When asked how do you know this person, the new friend is listed as "Dated since 2007 and practically married" . You know they say when you go through shock its like an out of body experience. I couldnt, couldnt move, couldnt look, couldnt do anything for about 10 minutes.

Its now been about 3 hours since. In that time I have sent him an email aptly titled "Dated since 2007 and practically married". Breaking it up. Removed him as a friend on facebook, deleted his number from my phone (that one is stupid but I had to do something). Then I arranged drawers in the office, its amazing how you have to do something when your hands are shaking, you want to cry but cant (you are at work, you have to maintain some decorum). I am now counting the hours until I can go home. I need to go home and cry also need to get like stupidly drunk so I will pass by the bottle shop.

Now I am feeling lost, gosh cant even think about what to say. Who do I tell. How do I tell the people that I told that I got engaged on Friday and before the week is over there will never be a wedding. Its got to be the shortest engagement on the planet.

Cant write anymore, tears are building up in my eyes - I wish I could express this feeling but I cant.